It's Alright to Cry, Isn't It?

Because we're coming into that home stretch with Molly in her final semester at school, the distinctions between what she's experiencing, and what I'm experiencing as she spreads her wings to fly become more apparent...she jokingly asks me if I'm going to cry at her graduation, and it's hard not to choke up answering the question now.

It's hard to know what my emotional soup is composed of these days...in no small way, the thought of Molly being on her own in the world is the primary driver of my emotional status. I trust her choices and her actions, but the rest of the world is the problem...and she is chomping at the bit to join that world...

I also recognize that because Josh chose to forgo the bulk of his high school career, I am living those parental experiences for both of them through her...I so enjoyed being involved at prom last year with her, and the preparation for graduation and the transition to college has been fun to be a part of and experience. I know it's rapidly coming to an end, and before long she'll be gone...

I acknowledge that any tears are for me...for the loss I know I'll initially feel when she's gone, even though I know she's only making the change to the next step in our relationship and her life....it's inevitable, and I've known it's coming, but I'm still not ready....I know at some point I'll have to quit thinking of her as my baby...but not quite yet. For the next four months, she doesn't get to be grown up...not just yet