Every Parent's Nightmare

The kids got their collective acts together, and made the trip to the coast in Alabama for spring break. They had obstacle after obstacle in getting there, including having a traveler cancel at the last minute, the person they were staying with Sunday night before they could get into their hotel on Monday working Sunday night and therefore being unavailable at her home, getting hit from behind once they arrived, and not having someone who was 21 there to check into the rooms for them. They adjusted plans and made the trip and had a great time getting there.

Unfortunately, the weather here was not cooperating. We knew there was a major snow headed this way for the weekend when they would be returning, and each day's report brought a higher snowfall amount we would receive. I had encouraged them to come north and then across Missouri on I-70, but because they weren't witnessing any inclement weather they seemed to underscore the potential danger of what they might be heading into.

Molly knew it would be late when they got in, and wanted to see her boyfriend, so was just planning to stay in town. The phone rang before six this morning, with a distraught mother on the phone. Because Molly let me know when she made it back, I had no reason to know there was a problem. There was. Two of the kids had left more than four hours later than the other vehicle.

I was keeping in touch by text and cell phone, but had no idea the vehicles were traveling separately. When I answered the phone, the mother on the other end was trying desperately not to let the possibilities consume her with what might have happened to the two kids. She knew the cell phone one of them had was going dead due to a low battery, so when the call went dead while she was talking to them, she initially thought it was simply the phone dying and they would be home in a matter of hours. That didn't happen, and she began calling parents to see if we knew anything.

I called Molly, and gave the mom Molly's number so she could contact her, and convinced myself that had there been an accident or a serious problem the families would have been notified. It was unbearable to think about the potential for pain and heartache that might lie ahead. I found myself in tears all morning worried about two kids who weren't even mine. But the worst part was knowing that my child was safe, and someone else's wasn't, and that I was so selfishly glad my child was safe.

I explained to her that it's every parent's nightmare that something terrible could happen to your child. You expect to lose your parents, and older family members and friends, but parents should never have to bury a child. There can be no greater pain, nor any greater suffering that can occur than a parent losing a child.

I learned at 1:47 this afternoon that the two weary stragglers did in fact make it home. The sense of relief I felt was indescribable. I was relieved that they, too, had made it home safe, but I was also relieved to know I didn't have to feel guilty that my child was safe. Molly had gone to school with one of them since kindergarten, and even went to the same daycare provider after morning classes in kindergarten. She had flirted with the idea of dating the other one, so these kids are part of our lives. They had gone off the road, and were lucky it was no worse than it was. Hopefully we parents won't have to endure that emotional trauma again for some time to come....it wears me out.

Broken Spring Break

Spring break officially starts on Friday...unless you play or support basketball and you are at the state tournament, or you play girls' soccer. If you play soccer, then you're aware that your coach cares not whether the boys are at state, or folks have plans to get going for spring break. You know you'll be at practice at the same old time, even though school is being dismissed early so students can travel to the tournament.

Molly's days were pretty much scheduled out until Sunday, which is departure day for spring break. She has soccer practice tomorrow, scrimmage on Friday, all day Forensics tournament on Saturday, and leaving at 7 am on Sunday is the plan. Six other seniors, four girls and three guys in total, were planning to head to the gulf coast for a week of fun. Word came today that one of the guys has decided against going, and now there is much discussion and discontent. The cost goes up for everyone, and there has been conversation about whether they are even still planning to go.

I've tried to gently explain that such is the way of being grown up. You make plans, and you have a notion in your head about what's going to happen, and then....it doesn't. For whatever reason, the anticipated plans are different than the actualized event. But that doesn't mean that the real experience has to be less than the expected experience. She just needs to understand that most things in life will not turn out as planned, and tis much better in the long run to know that you will have to fly by the seat of your pants sometimes, but that's alright. If you're willing to roll with the punches, you will find it much easier to go with the flow when necessary. Too much inflexibility ultimately leads to dissatisfaction, and it's so much easier to be willing to see what happens along the road of life.

Tomorrow will be a day of decision. It will be interesting to see how the group proceeds from here. Will they make lemonade from the lemons of disappointment and additional cost, or will they suffer the stings of the lemons as they dither in indecision? Time will tell....