And When Is It I Get to Leave Again?

Molly keeps me in continual guessing mode about what's going through her head at any particular moment.  After Terry had gone to bed the other night, and I thought she was headed that direction as well, she bounced back into the living room telling me there was something she wanted to talk about.


Needless to say I was prepared to hear about anything and everything.  What she wanted to talk about was whether she really would be able to go away to college and not live at home at some point in the future.  I was hoping she wasn't having regrets about her decision.  She had made the decision to go to a community college here in town to start and live at home herself several months ago.  Now that friends are starting to talk about their plans for heading out I wonder if she isn't sorry she won't be one of them.


In talking with her, she commented that she wasn't sure if she could have handled that first year away from home, because she was concerned she might not have the self discipline and focus to be as successful as she can.  She still comprehends the money part of it all, and is still seeing this first year as a way to save money while still getting credit hours.    


It's too late to go back and change things, but she also realizes too late that her grades should have been a higher priority.  She is more than capable, but has the ability to second guess herself. She knows the time to buckle down and get serious is here.  She wants to take the ACT again, which I think is a great idea, to see if she can't get her score up to increase chances with KU's nursing program.  While the end result of obtaining her BSN is the goal and can be accomplished through numerous avenues, we both think it would be incredibly cool for her to graduate there as well.  She would be third generation and that would be very special.


We also discussed the situation of not having a job yet.  It hasn't been as big an issue with me given what's gone on with her dad this summer.  It's been a big relief to have her here when I went back to work after his surgery.  It gave her a purpose and gave me comfort knowing another pair of eyes were seeing what happened with him.  She was responsible for taking his blood pressure and temperature each day.  The last thing he needs is another infection to deal with, so she's being the personal nurse he needs for now.  She knows when some kids go off to college it will open up some positions so the job search will go on.


She's not going anywhere for now, but it's even more apparent how badly she wants to, and I cannot blame her.  I'm really glad to know she continues to contemplate these things.  It's her life.  She needs to know where it's headed.